Enduring

I've never been the type who endures. I used to be very out-spoken, if i don't like it, I say it. But since that "miracle" thingy that happened to me last year, I suddenly became too patient in everythin that sometimes I want to tell me myself and scream, "SAY No!" or "Don't Do It!" or "You're f**ckn bitch!". haha. But I don't coz I honestly am so willing to endure it with all my heart that I DON'T FEEL like complaining. And honestly, it's very unusual, very unlike me. But I'M SO LOVING IT even tho after the end of the day, I feel like crying. haha.

I grew up lucky that I always get what I want until that "luckiness" ended last year. I don't know why but since then, everything in my life became out-of-control, or others may call it "unlucky". If this happened to someone else, probably, they'd feel so bad right now. but i don't know why I feel so great with unluckiness. Things aren't going my way; i'm work-loaded, lonely and loveless, under-employed and underpaid, annoying monkeys around me, but still I endure and find ways to be happy.

And since I know how it feels like to both be lucky and unlucky, I can honestly admit that I like unlucky better. Coz i feel more matured and broad-minded in things. I feel like I'm willing to face anything coz I'm strong enough to endure it and find ways to feel great about it. And so unlike of everyone else. :)

Anyways, have to cut this out, i'm just venting out and distressing the stress I'm feeling at the moment. But I'm so happy being stressed. I know, I'm a WEIRDO.hehe.:)