Beaming & Bumming

It’s 1:20pm. I’m working on graveyard shift, so I’m supposed to be sleeping by now if I want to be awake on my work later on, but damn, I can’t sleep. L Well, pretty much been sleeping the whole night that’s why. Working @ night is pretty much interesting. A lot of pro’s and con’s. And I’m not clinging to it anymore. I just live it each day, if until when, we’ll see. Just a few more days and 2008 will be done, yippee. Hahaha.. well, as for me, 2008 isn’t pretty lucky year for me, but it sure is a memorable and I’ve learned a lot..TOO MUCH actually. So it’s a pretty GOOD YEAR, just not so lucky. And what I’m looking forward before it ends are, the Christmas bonuses (ofcourse) and a lot of parties (for Xmas). Haha. Exciting. 2009..by now, people are probably listing resolutions and stuff. For me, they’ve been long listed, but as a friend says the action is waiting.hahaha. Things happen, so sometimes you have to delay stuff. And “hopefully”, things will fall into place by next year. And now, my patience needs to be stretched some more. I’ve realized 2008 is a year of “WAITING” for me. That if I’ll look at it in totality, I’d say nothing happens much, in terms of achieving things, but I know for myself that a lot happened and changed. Not just physically (with my bangz thingy) but also mental and emotional perspective. I’ve changed a lot that I see things so differently now. Hahaha. Too different, I amaze even myself. Like for an instance, cutting my hair short with bangs. One of my weaknesses before is my hair, I seldom experiment on my hair (well you can say, never). Coz I have this phobia or whatever you call it, that whenever my hair is cut down or something changed with my hair, I cry. Literally. Hahaha. I can’t say why, but I just cry. Immature as I was before, I even cried in front of the hairdresser who did my hair. Hahaha. But now it’s different, when I cut down hair with bangs, even if I looked like a ball with a wig, I felt happy. Hahaha. Coz finally, I did something out of extraordinary, I’ve went out of my comfort zone and lastly, I was BRAVE ENOUGH to face my fears and ACCEPT CHANGE. And honestly, I’M SO LOVING IT.hahaha. Things aren’t falling into place, or even to my plans, but despite, I’m so happy. Happiness that comes from within, not from someone else, from material things and not even success. I know this kind of happiness won’t last long with all the things life ‘WANTS’ to offer us that makes us crave and feel unhappy, but right now, I just want to recognize this state of happiness I’m having before it goes out. I finally realized that happiness comes in a lot of forms, you just have to acknowledge its existence instead of mourning on things. As I’ve learned, happiness is a choice.