Almost Broke

If not death, one’s most feared situation is getting financially broke, for it does not feel right and fair that after getting a great degree in college, worked in a prestigious company for several years, you’d admit to yourself that you are indeed broke. You take a deep breath and instruct yourself to not panic then positively double check all your bank statements, but reality sinks in, it is glooming you with “zero” balance account. If it can only speak, it would want to scream at your face “You’re doomed to get broke”, then, you allow yourself to panic.

But what does it feel to be broke anyway?
I’m not sure specifically, but for a saver like me, not seeing a load of money in my bank statement and having to pay outstanding loans (without seeing the goods I’ve purchased or travels to brag) already makes me feel dizzy and ready to admit that I am almost broke. So I ask myself why and what had happened?
I’ve been feeling really down and experiencing breakdowns, recently. The idea of getting almost broke does makes the worry freakiness over me. This isn’t surprise situation for me for I knew that the moment a person decides to let go of comfort, uneasiness happens, of which I am facing now. Just a few weeks ago, I’ve finally decided to let go of my current state to face the challenge and uncertainty of a different state (aka dream). Such dream is what most people do not try to live on for as I’ve said, it’s uncertain and unstable. Different mind as I am now, I’m willing to face its uncertainty and start all over again so I can redirect myself to the new path I want to live on. And as someone has said, she thinks I’m in a crossroad that she hopes I wouldn’t regret.

Life I’ve learned will never be regretful if you have the proper mentality to choose a moving forward attitude. As I’ve noticed, our decisions and actions today will greatly affect how we will be tomorrow, be it we decide over it or not, consciously or not. And unlike fairy tales, life isn’t going to give you a perfectly smooth journey in whatever path you’d take, for it’ll surely give you trials to learn lessons on your way, be you accept it or not. So don’t expect things to be perfectly okay in all aspect, for it’ll never be as long as you’re breathing the air of mother earth. If you expect a 100% worry-free journey, you’re doomed to get broken.

So what to do when you’re almost there, reaching that zero balance, and worse, negative brokenness of life?

All you need is your attitude and faith, that moving forward mentality and belief in yourself. It wouldn’t be a smooth journey, but as long as you keep your focus and faith in the end you picture, it will be all worth it.